i think my mom watched the whole time
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
