Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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