Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize