im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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