pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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