I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
