How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize