Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
