halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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