I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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