So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
