it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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