I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
