Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize