so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
