Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
