She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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