Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
