I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We are all done wearing pants today
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
