discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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