my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
