After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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