she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
