She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
