Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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