a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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