I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
