i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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