Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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