just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Randomize
