bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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