Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
my sisters under your porch take her home
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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