I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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