morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
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