just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
