went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
