There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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