you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
