I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
