when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
