Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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