with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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