Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
