K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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