glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize