Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
