Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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