he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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