There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
