I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
