i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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