Already got asked if we're dating
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
