took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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