Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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