There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
