She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
