He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i dont even know how to be here
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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