For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
