Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
