ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
