i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
