It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Mom said you looked used
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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