What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
