I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We have so much sex to catch up on
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
