i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
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