so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
