I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We were destined to go to rehab together
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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