John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Randomize
