in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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