I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
