My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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