My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
