dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
