i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
