I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
