This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
