When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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